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Glad I am not a horse!

Not really much further! We attended the Hospital for the ultrasound scan of my shoulders but are still awaiting the results. At the scan they indicated that I had a tear in my left shoulder & dark sports on my right shoulder. The pain is so bad at times it takes my breath away, glad I am not a horse, I would have been put down by now!

I am getting more headaches over the last couple of days & it seems that I have started to forget things either the same day or the next. When I talk to people on the phone you would think there is nothing wrong with me!!

The pain killers are no longer being effective at night & the pain down my right shoulder, right arm is intense & has now moved into my hand.

The two things that upset me the most is the amount of work my family are now having to do around me to try & move forward with life, normally I am there just getting on with it but now I cannot. It was hard keeping things going through Covid and just when we could see the light at the end of the tunnel this happened. They should not have to go through this, but they have all pulled together and are working very hard indeed and I am so proud of them but at the same time feel so useless.

The main thing that I am struggling with not knowing what’s wrong! First it was a stroke now it’s a Cavernoma! I am told its not a muscular issue so cannot do any exercise to build myself back up & there is nothing mentally I can do to help with the loss of memory.

I am just told to rest & not get stressed!! I have gone from 12-hour day seven days a week to being in two rooms 90% of the time. Its now been nearly 4 months so it looks like being out of action for 6 months was conservative to say the least.

Thank you to my best friend & sole mate, Sue for all you are trying to do & I hope I will get some news on what can be done so I can get back to some sort of normal & help going forward.

Outside Liskeard Hospital

The last month has been particuarly difficult, I am dealing with my own health issues whilst being a carer and balancing everything else. Stewart is bored senseless and trying to do more but in doing so he is struggling more. He forgets a lot and gets confused easily. His pain is a real issue and I will be contacting the Drs again on Monday, also mentioning the worsening of his headaches and right eye.

He has, much to my surprise, been a pretty good patient. Yes, we have our moments and my patience is short when I am tired but on the whole we are managing with our role reversal and adjustment.

2023 has not been the kindest of years but many lessons have been learnt and from the embers we will emerge.

Christmas will be very different for us this year, Stewart gets very tired around the grandkids and so we are not planning on seeing them and I have decided not to put any decs or tree up and am grateful thgat we get to spend Christmas together, it could of been very different. I am looking forward to some downtime!

Wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas and enjoy however it looks for you! I pray that 2024 will be kinder for everyone, but whatever it brings, we will face it head on.

Sending love & blessings xx

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